They're like opinions, everybody's got one. New Year's Resolutions, that is. What's yours this year?
Okay, maybe I'm projecting but I bet a lot of people are listing out some of the same things right now. The new year's list of commitments to 2011. That New Year's Resolution List that we all trot out this time of the year. The "I promise, promise, promise, I'll do it this year" list.
That horrible, terrible, really bad list that leaves you feeling like a failure every December when you realize that you didn't get any of it done.
Of course there are those really organized, ultra motivated people that actually get everything on their list checked off. You know those people you want to strangle because they're bouncing around with all the scheduled time in the world while you rush around all year just trying to keep up with yourself, forget the Joneses.
Well, I propose that we do away with New Year's Resolutions altogether! They just stress us out and because we have come to expect not to achieve them anyway, they don't get done. But, we do get the guilt each year when we don't get those, sometimes improbable, lists of things completed.
It's time to stop feeling guilty.
Things happen. Each year things happen. Unforeseen things. So you wanted to lose weight this year but instead you got pregnant. It happens. You were getting a new car but instead you had to get a new roof. Tough. You wanted to learn to play guitar but you never had enough time. Okay this happens, too.
Sometimes the things you want to do will take the back burner to those things that you need or have to do. Some things will sneak up on you. Things you never dreamed of will happen to you. That's life. I say instead of bringing the same old list of sure to be broken promises into the future, we shed the bad karma of the past.
There is a Pagan tradition that I have heard about that says you should shed yourself of all of the ugliness of this year before you pass into the coming year so that you can begin new. It's called a cleansing. I'm sure I don't have all of the facts of it, but the basic idea is the same: burn away the bad of the passing year so that we can embrace the new year as a clean slate. In other words, drop the baggage at the door to 2011, please. It's a mental cleansing with physical ritual elements to make it feel more concrete. I'll give you the basics. You'll need:
If you don't have a way to get a fire, you'll need a shovel
Write yourself a letter. Write a letter that expresses how you feel, what you went through this year. Express the bad things and get them off of your chest. Forgive yourself for the things that you may have done that weren't in your best interests. Forgive others for things they did to you this year. Grieve for a loved one.
Take every bad thing from 2010 and put it on that paper. Get it all out.
Then burn it. (You know, or bury it. Burning it just seems more final.)
Know that as you burn ( or bury) the words, you are burning away 2010 and emerging into 2011, young, fresh, and new, like the year. Just like the Phoenix you are reborn and can be or do anything that you choose. The future is wide open yesterday is behind you. You won't be able to forget the past. That's human.
Remember the past, but don't live in it.
Instead of all those specific and sometimes, impossible, New Year's Resolutions, just strive to be the best you can possibly be. I'm sure that's a resolution that we can all keep.
- Lose weight?
- eat healthier?
- Stop procrastinating?
- Go to church more?
- Finally go through all those pictures that are piling up in boxes?
Okay, maybe I'm projecting but I bet a lot of people are listing out some of the same things right now. The new year's list of commitments to 2011. That New Year's Resolution List that we all trot out this time of the year. The "I promise, promise, promise, I'll do it this year" list.
That horrible, terrible, really bad list that leaves you feeling like a failure every December when you realize that you didn't get any of it done.
Of course there are those really organized, ultra motivated people that actually get everything on their list checked off. You know those people you want to strangle because they're bouncing around with all the scheduled time in the world while you rush around all year just trying to keep up with yourself, forget the Joneses. Well, I propose that we do away with New Year's Resolutions altogether! They just stress us out and because we have come to expect not to achieve them anyway, they don't get done. But, we do get the guilt each year when we don't get those, sometimes improbable, lists of things completed.
It's time to stop feeling guilty.
Things happen. Each year things happen. Unforeseen things. So you wanted to lose weight this year but instead you got pregnant. It happens. You were getting a new car but instead you had to get a new roof. Tough. You wanted to learn to play guitar but you never had enough time. Okay this happens, too.
Sometimes the things you want to do will take the back burner to those things that you need or have to do. Some things will sneak up on you. Things you never dreamed of will happen to you. That's life. I say instead of bringing the same old list of sure to be broken promises into the future, we shed the bad karma of the past.
There is a Pagan tradition that I have heard about that says you should shed yourself of all of the ugliness of this year before you pass into the coming year so that you can begin new. It's called a cleansing. I'm sure I don't have all of the facts of it, but the basic idea is the same: burn away the bad of the passing year so that we can embrace the new year as a clean slate. In other words, drop the baggage at the door to 2011, please. It's a mental cleansing with physical ritual elements to make it feel more concrete. I'll give you the basics. You'll need:
- fire, preferably in a fireplace, for safety
- several sheets of paper
- something to write with
If you don't have a way to get a fire, you'll need a shovel
Write yourself a letter. Write a letter that expresses how you feel, what you went through this year. Express the bad things and get them off of your chest. Forgive yourself for the things that you may have done that weren't in your best interests. Forgive others for things they did to you this year. Grieve for a loved one.
Take every bad thing from 2010 and put it on that paper. Get it all out.
Then burn it. (You know, or bury it. Burning it just seems more final.)
Know that as you burn ( or bury) the words, you are burning away 2010 and emerging into 2011, young, fresh, and new, like the year. Just like the Phoenix you are reborn and can be or do anything that you choose. The future is wide open yesterday is behind you. You won't be able to forget the past. That's human.
Remember the past, but don't live in it.
Instead of all those specific and sometimes, impossible, New Year's Resolutions, just strive to be the best you can possibly be. I'm sure that's a resolution that we can all keep.
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