Re-discovering Christmas Wonder and Magic

 I find that I am much more excited about Christmas this year than I have been in since I was a child.

It's no lie that the past ten  years, the holidays have spelled tragedy for my extended family.   We have had our fair share of loss whether it be a  grandmother, a cousin, a  sister, an uncle, a family pet.   We have lost  at least one in our clan each year and, always, right around Christmas.  The people in our family have come to dread the holidays not just for the  freezing weather, the crowded stores, the commercialism, and  the horrible traffic.  It's hard enough going through the season without them here, but we have a biting fear that we will have to start 2011 without someone else.

This year is no different in it's potential to be a tragic holiday.  We have  a few  who just may not make it to see the new year.  Knowing that can serve to put a pall on the celebration.  So why do I feel so good this year?

     Usually I'm dragging around exhausted, waiting  for the holidays to be over.  This year, I'm bouncing around humming Christmas tunes and tinseling the house.  Charlie Brown's Christmas and A Christmas Story have been the television viewing choice for the week.   All the presents are even wrapped, days before Christmas Eve.


     Maybe it has something to do with the fact that though we don't have much, this year we were able  to start Christmas shopping early which allowed us to be able to get our son the things we really wanted for him. Or maybe it's because I finished a whole semester of college without a breakdown and even made pretty decent grades.  It could be that this year I know that I found something my picky husband will like.  Or that the weather outside is not as frightful as it could be.  It could be all of those things.

Hayden's 1st Christmas
Enchanted Forest

     But I think  my gregarious mood can be attributed mostly to my son.  This is the first year that he can really participate in the holidays.  He'll be three in January and he's now old enough to really appreciate what the season means and he's ecstatic.  He's old enough to learn about Jesus, his birth, Santa Claus, and spending time with family.   And he understands.  I mean he gets it in a way that most of us have forgotten.

     I used to be really into Christmas.  When I was a little  kid my whole family decorated the tree.  As I got older, we let that tradition go.  I tried to orchestrate  tree trimming parties but, I tended to be mostly by myself in the decorating and good cheer department.    When my parents divorced when I was 11, I became a little obsessed with the holidays.

     You see, it's a time for family and togetherness and I wanted that more than anything.  Family and togetherness.  But everyone seemed to have their own thing to do.  My father absented himself from "the family" after my parent's split-up and maintained his distance.   I decorated the tree and house, usually by myself because my sister wasn't really into it, and my Mom worked long hours.  I bought most of my Christmas decorations before I had a home to put a tree in.   I was determined that when I  had my own family, we would have family traditions and rituals and put the tree up together and drink eggnog by the fire.  The whole Currier and Ives Christmas.  Of course that never happened.

    Life gets full and hectic and Christmas becomes a rushed event of putting up the tree and the getting the presents and cooking the food and scheduling and on and on and on.  You barely have time to enjoy it as a adult because you were so busy getting ready for it.  My husband and I generally have to drag out the big tree.  We struggle with the lights. Why don't they work?  They didn't do anything the whole year but sit in a box in my attic.  My husband fights the tree.  And damn those stupid numbered branch sections, anyway! We throw up some decorations and think about how it's gonna suck taking them down.  I hope I got what everyone wanted.  Maybe they won't like my gift.  Christmas becomes a hassle.     You start to forget what Christmas really means.

     But Hayden gets it.  He know that Christmas isn't just about getting presents and eating food and  keeping schedules.  He knows that it's about spending quality time.  He knows Christmas is about joy and celebration of life and love.   He knows that it's about the excitement of  wrapped gifts that hold a world of surprises and that it doesn't matter what's beneath the paper, but the love behind it.   He knows that it's a time to be cheerful and kind to everyone.   Hayden knows the reason for the season.   And he's teaching me all about it.


     This year, I finally have someone  excited to help with the tree and exclaim over how pretty the ornaments are because taking out the decorations can be a lesson in  family history.  He Ooos and Ahhs over the pretty pink and blue antique glass balls that used to be my great grandmother's.

Going into the attic to get the tree became an adventure.   Hayden swore we would find treasure.

     Hayden claps when the  lights finally come on and look like little glowing stars, because it's like magic.  This season is nothing if not magical.

     He holds the tape  while I wrap his cousin's presents because he can't wait for them to get their surprises.  Hayden does a little dance when we get it wrapped.   He KNOWS they will be happy.  

     Hayden jumps up and down when we put the gold star on the top of the tree and explain to him what the star means.   He's just as pleased with the two foot tree in the den as he is with the 8 foot tree in the living room because he know's it's not about the size of the tree.

  I'm rediscovering the spirit of Christmas through the eyes of my two year old and it's been a wonderful revelation.  I hope that everyone can regain their holiday spirit no matter what they are celebrating this year.  Take a lesson from a two year old and look at things through different eyes.  Enjoy the wonder and the magic the time with your family and friends.

Don't stress about everything else.

Happy Holidays